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4 Primary Emotions—Awareness and Control for More Effective Leadership

4 Primary Emotions—Awareness and Control for More Effective Leadership

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Primary Emotions—Awareness and Control for More Effective Leadership


continue to flow and this has a detrimental effect on the brain, mainly affecting

memory and the ability to concentrate on abstract aspects of a challenge, sometimes

leading to depression. In other words, our ability to think clearly about possible

solutions becomes somewhat impaired. This negative process can be, according to

the scientists, helped by being able to get relief from the challenges at hand and

actually enjoy life enough to laugh and play.

15.4.2 Confidence and PLAY

Now, as we talk about the brain and its functions, some might ask, But what about

the mind. Isn’t that what really matters? And what about the character of leadership? How does that fit into neuroscience? Well, according to the scientists, one

component of leadership is dominance, the ability to lead with confidence and

charisma. They say that this has to do with the primary emotion of what Panksepp

calls PLAY. PLAY allows for the learning of rules of social conduct, when to

cooperate and when to compete, and how to let the other win without feeling the

pain of defeat. (Recall how David encouraged the CEO to let his director “win”

despite their differences.) Indeed, animals seem to have an innate sense of when to

yield to the other’s sense of failure by backing down at such times. Otherwise, the

defeated animals will stop playing (when they lose about 70 % of the time).

15.4.3 Reciprocity and CARE

So, in order to keep playing, the winner learns to pull back and let the other “win” a

little bit. According to Panksepp and Biven, they learn “the necessity of reciprocity

and giving way on occasion” (p. xix). And, when it comes to effective leadership, it

is clearly important to earn trust and respect of those being managed. “This implicit

social contract,” according to the scientists, “is built on the mutuality of the CARE

system. They must give each other what they need to feel secure and to excel.

Managers also know the importance of team cohesion.” And this is done by

“fostering a spirit of PLAY, whereby members of a large working group share the

opportunity to interact in more intimate and relaxed environments. This kind of

playful interaction cements social bonds that are important for the solidarity of the

workforce” (p. xx). Careful readers will immediately realize that what is at stake in

this process reflects Rogers’ principle of the “reciprocity of unconditional positive

regard” (Rogers 1959).


15 How Neuroscience Can Help to Understand the Working …

15.4.4 Trust and the Interplay of Emotions

The main dynamic between effective leaders and their associates is the level of trust.

And it is fascinating that this one crucial dynamic is a result of the different primary

emotions in the primary process of our brain: SEEKING to find out more about our

work setting; FEAR when we must make decisions without having sufficient

information to guarantee our success; RAGE when things do not work out as we

hoped and expected; CARE about our fellow workers and the overall success they

achieve; and PLAY, so we know about the give and take of reciprocity, so necessary in teamwork.

15.4.5 Do Leaders Need to Control Their Feelings?

Yes, they do. One of the keystone skills of effective leadership is to manage feelings

rather than let them take over. Feelings or emotions are complex, hard to define at

the moment, containing more information than we could possibly analyze in the

moment. The way to master this is to become keenly aware of intentions and to

know clearly the results that are aimed at.

As mentioned above, emotions begin in the primary process of the brain,

specifically the 7 primary emotions. According to Wilson (2015), “We have

paleolithic emotions,” and these originate in the subcortical, deeper components of

the brain. We learn to associate certain feelings to what we perceive in the secondary process, e.g., FEAR via the amygdala, SEEKING through the nucleus

accumbens in the deepest part of the brain. The tertiary process takes place in the

neocortex where we become aware of our actions through analysis and planning.

Example from experience: Attending to feelings while facilitating the interaction among executives

Anybody can become angry, that is easy, but to be angry with the right

person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right

purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is

not easy.

—Aristotle (320 B.C.)

One morning, while on a consulting trip for a large Federal organization, I

(David) awoke with a disturbed feeling in my chest. It was one of those

first-on-arising feelings that had no particular context to it. I rubbed my eyes

and gathered whatever thoughts I could. I was in a hotel room, but in what

city? What was I doing there?


Primary Emotions—Awareness and Control for More Effective Leadership


Within a minute, I realized I was in Washington, DC, on a consulting trip

with a Federal government agency. So how could I account for my uneasiness

as I awoke? I had just delivered a highly successful talk. All the feedback was

excellent. So, what was the problem?

As I thought over the past day, I recalled that I was asked to run a meeting

that day, a meeting in which a conflict among a number of leaders was to be

confronted and hopefully resolved. As the resident expert on transformative

communication and leadership, I was the one being marked to come up with

the solution to all this conflict. No wonder my heart was beating faster than

normal. No wonder I felt an uneasy tension in my chest. Although some may

have considered me the expert, I was also human.

Obviously, I was feeling anxious about having to confront the conflict among

these strong personalities. I was experiencing FEAR, and this “paleolithic

emotion” (Wilson 2015) was of a “primary process nature,” according to

Panksepp and Biven (2012), coming from “specific functional networks of

evolutionarily very ancient regions of our brains” (p. xi). No wonder I felt it

so keenly, even before my conscious brain could make sense of where I was.

Once I could gather my thoughts—in “the tertiary process (emotional

thoughts and deliberations that are so evident in human experience)” (p. xi) in

the prefrontal cortex, according to the scientists, then I could begin to analyze

the situation and plan an approach that would help me put my best foot

forward. In other words, I was ready to take the primitive emotion of FEAR

and use my noggin (technical term for prefrontal cortex) to come up with a

plan worthy of my reputation as the guru of transformative communication.

So, what to do? I thought of what I could do to resolve the sense of FEAR

that I was feeling and that other key members of the leadership team might be

feeling as well. What could I do to control this process and bring about a

more productive feeling? And what feeling might that be? Certainly, one of

the positive ones, with at least a component of CARE. But, more to the point,

what would help convert FEAR to something more positive?

Recalling Panksepp’s research on PLAY, in which his subjects allowed their

mates to win at times, even if they were the weaker of the pair, I chose this

emotion. A sense of one’s own power is important to self-esteem in the

workplace, but there is also the crucial importance of feeling part of the team.

“Managers also know the importance of team cohesion,” write Panksepp and

Bevin, “by fostering a spirit of PLAY, whereby members of a large working

group share the opportunity to interact in more intimate and relaxed environments. This kind of playful interaction cements social bonds that are

important for the solidarity of the workforce” (p. xx).

The main focus of the conflict among this group of executives was Kevin. He

was one of those self-assured “my-way-or-the-highway” types, with little


15 How Neuroscience Can Help to Understand the Working …

room for negotiation. I was not eager to confront this imposing character in

front of a group of his peers who could not find the resources to control him

without my help. So I decided on a combination of CARE and PLAY,

beginning with an honest sharing of my genuine, authentic emotions.

“If I tried to convince you that I wasn’t at least a bit apprehensive about

today’s meeting, I’d be lying to you,” I began. “So can we put our swords

back in their scabbards? And maybe put more energy into listening to one


My voice was assuring and confident, as I felt comfortable sharing how I

really felt as opposed to pretending otherwise. I then followed this up with

some self-deprecating humor to dive into a sense of PLAY, followed by my

concern for the success of the agency, and the success of each of the players

at the table to bring them into the mode of CARE. This soon led to a new

respect for one another’s concerns and even Kevin could not resist this tide of

positive attitudes toward success of the agency. After hearing others’ genuine

sense of concern for the issues surrounding the conflict, Kevin’s demeanor

changed dramatically. He allowed himself to become part of the team, rather

than its challenger.

Possibly, in his mind (tertiary process), he was shifting from his anger at

certain individuals with whom he disagreed (RAGE) and moving closer to a

feeling of group endeavor once he felt the genuine concerns of others

(CARE) and invited to allow them to “win” despite the differences (PLAY).

The executives, including Kevin, were now seeing success of the agency as a

common endeavor. As the discussion evolved, the participants could better

understand one another, including Kevin. CARE, according to Panksepp and

Biven, “surely figures heavily in the emergence of empathy,” and PLAY

involves the movement “to learn through eager friendly competition (with

repeated, adequately balanced give-and-take—winning and losing, in a

manner of speaking) … resulting in a sense of secure belonging within the

social order” (p. 438).

So, that morning, we all moved from Kevin’s RAGE and some of the others’

FEAR, emerging from the primary level, to a sense of CARE and PLAY as I

facilitated the interaction among the executives. This new, positive sense

traveled from the deeper parts of the unconscious brain to the prefrontal

cortex as plans began to emerge to follow up with the sense of camaraderie

that was beginning to unfold with a new set of strategies.

That is what happens in the brains of high-powered executives when

thoughtful analysis and planning along with experience and personal sensitivity can overcome the “Paleolithic” emotions that can block individuals

from working together in harmony.


Primary Emotions—Awareness and Control for More Effective Leadership


15.4.6 Effect of Emotions on Decision-Making

Here is a clear overview of how emotions affect the decision-making of a leader. At

the hormonal level, adrenaline and serotonin are responsible for the arousal level,

making the leader alert and aware. The 7 primary emotions originate in the primary

system, called “affective circuits” by Panksepp, in the deepest levels of the brain. At

the secondary level, where the amygdala and other basal ganglia reside, these

primary emotions are converted to the more complex good feelings, such as

empathy and trust, or the complex “bad” feelings, such as blame, shame, and guilt.

At the neo-cortex, the tertiary process, the leader can finally identify those feelings,

and choose to control the negative ones by naming them and containing them,

possibly with the use of such skills as mindfulness. Each of the primary emotions

has its own place in the leader’s repertoire.

I. SEEKING encourages exploratory inquisitiveness, where the leader

approaches and engages those around him. Here is where a sense of purpose

has a chance to develop. SEEKING also encourages finding the best solutions regarding risk-taking. A strong SEEKING emotion helps to overcome

caution and trepidation, due to the more cautious emotion of FEAR.

II. RAGE, when it is controlled so that it is not expressed in its full intensity,

can act as a motivator to compete effectively and with great enthusiasm

against competitors or to confront associates who need guidance in a form

that is vividly expressed. One ongoing question is whether good leaders

should allow themselves to express anger. Our answer is that they should, as

long as they do so in a controlled and intentional manner, knowing fully the

consequences of such communication. Anger, expressed in such a controlled

and intentional manner, on special occasions, can have a positive outcome,

especially if it has the sense of authenticity, conveying the leader’s deeper

values with intensity. There is something about such vivid communication

that stays in memory, because of the emotion it generates in the audience—of

one or many. Again, let us emphasize, that when RAGE is expressed without

control or intent, it can be seen as very negative, as a loss of control by the

leader, and that is never a desirable outcome.

III. FEAR, by its very nature, is not the most comfortable emotion. It naturally

can lead to stress and to an interruption of normal concentration and successful decision-making. Its hidden benefit involves triggering the motivation for more SEEKING to find suitable alternatives to the conditions leading

to FEAR.

IV. LUST is the one emotion that needs total control, lest it lead to indiscretions

that result in public shame. How often we hear of affairs where a married

leader allows himself to be seduced into an illicit relationship that eventually

becomes public! In the past few years, we can easily recall politicians,

military leaders, and other celebrity types “caught in the act.” LUST is a

powerful motive and needs constant surveillance in order to contain it.

Leadership itself appears to be highly attractive to the opposite sex and so


15 How Neuroscience Can Help to Understand the Working …

opportunities for seduction abound. As Henry Kissinger is purported to say,

“Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

V. CARE is one of the more interesting motivations arising from the primary

affective circuits. It is part of empathy, leading to trust and loyalty. It is an

essential ingredient of effective teamwork. It reverberates with a deep-seated

need for group dedication. According to Wilson (2015), there are

“deep-rooted instincts for belonging … a primordial group instinct,” and

CARE is at the center of this deep-seated need to be part of a working team.

Wilson adds that this deep need in our systems for a sense of “tribalism”

helps us understand why we sometimes put others’ needs before our own,

what he calls “instinctive self-sacrifice.” In the work setting, it makes

mentoring a pleasurable task rather than just another activity on the to-do list.

It also helps us understand the deep devotion we feel toward effective leaders

and how grief-stricken we can become at their untimely demise, e.g., the

assassination of President Kennedy.

Now that we are acquainted with the basic emotions, let us trace them in an

emotionally intense scenario, like firing an employee who has become a friend, or

being fired, as in David’s example below.

Example from experience: Basic emotions in breaking up an interpersonal,

work-based relationship

Some years ago, I (David) was invited to consult with an international conglomerate by a friend whom I had known for years. We were not the closest

of friends but, when we did get together, there was an ease and comfort to our

sharing. After I started working at this organization, our friendship flourished,

as Jim was able to share with me the inside awareness of the political

dynamics that were going on with the individuals with whom I worked. This

was very helpful and I looked forward to our lunches whenever our schedules

allowed, both to get the latest news on the company politics and, as well, to

catch up on personal matters that we could share.

This was a wonderful arrangement as it was helpful in a professional sense

and it also allowed for a growing friendship. But all good things must come to

an end and at one point, when there was a low ebb in the financial situation

for this company, there was a decision at a higher level, to terminate my

services. It was friend Jim’s duty to inform me of this.

It is not hard to imagine the awkwardness of the situation. Jim was not happy

about this. However, he had no choice but to communicate the bad news to


When he was able to sit down with me and share this bad news, there was an

obvious discomfort on both our parts. Our shared emotion of CARE for one


Primary Emotions—Awareness and Control for More Effective Leadership


another was clear. But there was no choice about the matter. My reaction was

to accept what was being shared with me and to appreciate that we had a

wonderful situation while it lasted. There was some sadness, of course, but to

refer to it as GRIEF does not sound accurate.

What made it easier to deal with was Jim’s genuine statement of how

unhappy he was about this decision and, of course, I concurred. He was being

authentic and genuine, not distancing himself from the inevitable discomfort

of the situation. This meant a lot to me and we decided to continue our

friendship by committing to meet for lunch at least once every few months,

despite our busy schedules. We were able to look forward to some degree of

what Panksepp refers to as PLAY and SEEKING as we would dig into the

mysteries of dealing with the challenges of life, enjoying the openness we had

built over time.

I felt sad about losing my affiliation with the organization, as I had invested

my emotions in my work there, as I typically do. I felt sad, as well, about

losing the ongoing connection with my friend. But, making the best of the

situation, my friend and I could now look forward to continuing the personal

aspect of our relationship. And this also opened a time slot for a new connection I would make with another organization, so I was ready to enter the

enjoyable mode of SEEKING a new affiliation which would surely come

along fairly soon. “When one door closes, another opens,” goes the saying.

So the sadness of losing one client gave way to the anticipation of acquiring a

different client with new challenges and new relationships. It all worked well

in large part to my friend’s choice to be genuine and authentic in how he

delivered the “bad” news to me.

Invitation to reflect:

In the example above, David, in his reflection, named the emotions he had

experienced. Have you ever tried to label your emotions while reflecting on

some emotionally challenging experience? Do you find it helpful to be aware

of your emotions?

Do you think that being aware of your inner world can help you to act more in

accordance with your values? Does it reveal valuable information to you that

aids you in making decisions?



15 How Neuroscience Can Help to Understand the Working …

Confidence in Leadership—The Oxytocin Factor

An effective leader is usually seen as confident. One hormone that leads to confidence is what we usually characterize as the love hormone—oxytocin. But this

neurochemical has proven to be associated with confidence as well. In addition, it is

associated with increased levels of trust (Meyer-Lindenberg 2008). As well, it

affects the sense of victory or defeat in competition, increasing gloating in victors

and a stronger sense of envy in losers (Shamay-Tsoory et al. 2009). Similarly, it

enhances cooperation among teammates but ironically fosters defensive attitudes

toward those not in the group (De Dreu et al. 2010).

So this is not a simple process. It appears that oxytocin may make individuals

more cooperative and easier to get along with, but also more confident in competing

with others. This would account for such paradoxical effects mentioned in the

above paragraph. In one study (Riters and Panksepp 1997), this paradox was

explained by pointing out that oxytocin may make you feel peaceful, yet also

confident. Another paradox of oxytocin is that, although it enhances cooperative

behavior, it can also encourage independent behavior apart from the group. How

come? Because, according to Panksepp and Biven (2012), the increased confidence

allows for more independent activity, possibly with less social anxiety (Guastella

et al. 2009).

Oxytocin apparently does increase confidence. Afraid of public speaking? Then

oxytocin can help. “If oxytocin increases confidence,” say Panksepp and Biven,

“then performance anxiety should decrease” (p. 42). It even allows us to become

more empathic in the sense that we would have less fear of more intimate eye

contact for better communication. “For instance,” continue the scientists, “oxytocin

should increase our tendency to explore the eyes of another person, to try to read

their mind, because you are feeling more secure. And in fact, it does that” (p. 42).

They go on to say that “oxytocin in the brain has now been shown to mediate

trusting behaviors in economic decision-making and perhaps the capacity to read

other minds more sensitively” (p. 466).

So a leader’s ability to come across with confidence (Panksepp 2009) and to be

able to communicate in a way that reflects the PCA or emotional intelligence is

enhanced by the hormone oxytocin. Ironically, oxytocin comes from feeling nurtured by others, so this is a two-way street that helps enhance successful

leadership. Thus, besides congruence, integrity, and confidence, Rogers’ concept of

unconditional positive regard for others as a general social principle is an excellent

basis for successful leadership.

Trust is a basic component of effective leadership. “Without that trust,” write

Panksepp and Biven (2012), “the endogenous opioid mediated feeling of social

support cannot take hold … Without genuine empathy … there will always be a

residue of suspicion, a feeling of being manipulated, as opposed to the deep

acceptance that opens the portals for positive change” (p. 463).






One of the key elements of the Person-Centered Approach is to create a sense of

safety, or, as Panksepp and Biven (2012) put it, an “island of safety” (p. 473).

Rogers had this incalculably important ability to make people feel safe enough to

open up with their self-doubts and personal vulnerability (for a personal example,

see Ryback 1998, pp. 29–30). Having done so, they were much more receptive to

learning how to integrate these self-doubting feelings into their total personality,

making them more transparent and consequently authentic, and hopefully transformative leaders.

We have come a long way in our understanding of emotions since Darwin’s

(1872) seminal research on emotions in animals and humans. In this chapter, we

have attempted to understand from where transformative communication originates

and how it is expressed in the brain. We have looked at psychological theories and

the structures of the brain leading to basic emotions and transformational empathy.

In summary, we have seen that the effective leader’s brain works in two

directions: healthy pathways of affect from the depths and, in counterbalance, solid

experience from years of learning from experience, stored in the hippocampus and

frontal cortex. As Panksepp and Biven (2012) put it, “higher brain functions may

‘listen’ to the lower ones and add additional cognition-parsed affective coloring to

experience” leading to “a fundamental sense of owning their affective experiences”

(p. 400). This resonates strongly with the self-management aspects of emotional

intelligence and with Rogers’ (1980) concepts of authenticity and personal integrity. The successful executive can have the best of lower brain and higher brain

functions at his/her disposal. It is not just cognitive versus emotional functions, but

rather a dynamic interplay between the two, at least for the most effective leaders,

or, to put it another way, “a coherence of self and consciousness” (p. 410).

As well, the effective leader has the responsibility of engendering a basis of trust

throughout the organization, beginning at the top and filtering down through the

various levels. This begins at the top with authenticity, genuineness and a sense of

openness to others. People need to feel part of the group, accepted and, above all,

understood and appreciated. “This view was advanced by Carl Rogers,” write

Panksepp and Biven, “through his concept of unconditional positive regard”

(p. 463).

At the end of the day, it appears that the brain acts as a complex organ, integrating all its components into the decision-making and action-oriented outcomes

that we hope are correct and appropriate for any set of given circumstances.

Although there are convergence points for conscious decision-making, there is no

single center or structure that does it alone (Sukhotinsky et al. 2007). Yet neuroscientists are able to map certain areas that are more important than others for such

activities (Mobbs et al. 2009). “Living brains, along with their minds—the invisible

manifestation of their network-level neurobiological functions,” write Panksepp and

Biven (2012), “reflect a delicate balance … among vastly interacting neural circuits


15 How Neuroscience Can Help to Understand the Working …

that work in and for living bodies and that respond to the challenges of the world by

creating desired circumstances and avoiding those that are harmful” (p. 500).

Knowing how the brain responds to the challenge of leadership, and how that

leads to desirable outcomes is what the neuroscience of leadership is all about.


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